Don't Kill Me

After my last blog post, I'm sure you will kill me with what I'm about to say. 

I have been offered a position in Berlin, Germany. I would be teaching English to primary aged students. I would have to learn German quickly, as my start date would be February 1, 2014.

Doesn't it sound like dreams and prayers come true? And I'm about to tell you the scariest thing of all... I don't know if this is for me. It happened so quickly! Mostly I don't think it's for me at this time because I don't believe I have the start up money that will be needed for this adventure. It is not the same as a trip. Think about college... you need the books, the extra snacks, shampoo, bed sheets, etc. The list could go on forever -moving is the same way, plus a visa! 

I am still thinking and praying about my decision as I wait for the contract to pop up in my inbox. It is scary to me to think that I am saying no to a dream job. Am I scaring the dreamer in myself or am I being the realistic person I should be? However, a good friend of mine made the point, "I just feel like I know this wouldn't be your only opportunity to do that if that's something you really wanted to do at another time." I think she may be right. It is something I want to do, so I can make it happen. Plus my heart is not in Germany - I left it in a gelato cone or under the fresh mozzarella in Italy.

So you may be wondering how can I handle this and not regret it in the years to come? Well, my plan is that I will not sit around and be sad. I will work hard and often. I will continue to save money by moving home and subbing in the little, pleasant school that I grew up in. Ever so often I will take a trip in the United States. My dream is for five trips this year. It will be something new for myself. I never traveled alone in the US. So the top five this year... New York City, NY; Williamstown, MA; somewhere in FL; Charleston, SC; and San Francisco, CA.

I'm not going to lie- I am torn by my current choice. I have a week to decide and there might be another post saying, "Here I come, Berlin" and it might also beg for some start up money, if you would feel inclined and feel I am to be in Germany (or you want to get rid of me!)

In the mean time, I ask for prayers. What would you do?