Am I the only one?

Lately I have been feeling like I am living the safe life. The life in which it would be perfectly fine to live by. My life feels routine, predictable, and all around normal. For myself, I feel like my life is screaming, "Death!" Like I am purposefully killing and stealing all the excitement out of my life.

I know this is the American thing to do. Not only American but society. Have I ever told you -I hate society? I hate what it tells women, I hate what it tells men, I hate what it tells my 14 year old sisters. But here I am doing what society tells us to do. Society tells us to find a steady job, worry about money, live in a dependable house, and search for a love. Unfortunately, what happens in the love area is we settle.  We never wait because what if they never come; I get that. We settle for convenience because loneliness became too much. Later, we tend to let that love burn out. We end up always consumingly worrying about money, our house falls apart, and the steady job lays us off. Why live like this? I can't be the only one who feels this way.

My point is that I don't want society to win this one. Society is not taking my excitement. I dream of the day where I can travel. Continuously -without stop. I want to explore. And if I'm happy somewhere let me stay there for a while until it's time to move again. I'll be the first one to tell you, I'm my own worst Devil's advocate... I always think well what if life feels mundane and habitual in my new location. Part of me thinks, "Just relocate." The other half of me thinks of Italy. I think of how I truly fell in love with a city. In love with every aspect of it. And how in a couple of years it may become mundane and boring -that's when we fight, just like for our love.

I feel like I found my true, perfectly matched country. I know I may not return for sometime or stay very long the next time I'm there, but I will not settle for the convenience. I will continue to search for new reasons to admire and fight for my love, my Italia.