Be Kind.

I have tucked this little piece of my digital footprint away for two years. At first, I couldn't bear the thought of visiting the photos of Berlin, Amsterdam, Perugia, etc. when in comparison to the same view of Selinsgrove day in and day out. Then slowly this blog faded away. My last post was two years ago. I can't believe it. I still remember the feelings of packing up my apartment in Lichterfelde West and saying goodbye to so many dear, dear friends.

I'm not sure if anyone cares about this blog now that I'm not globetrotting. Maybe, maybe not. But tonight for the first time since that last post, I feel like sharing again. Being able to write is part of my core and that I haven't felt willing to share that in two years. This should tell you how my transition back to the States went (is going). It's always a process.

During the first months, I could not put into words what I was feeling. I searched the internet, scouring for someone to have felt the same. To have the power to put into words the distress I was feeling. Some tried. Some got the gist. Some failed. At the time, I saved this quote to my dashboard...

“The idyllic mayhem of two cultures colliding just doesn’t seem as funny anymore.”― Kris Kidd

This quotes and a very accurate account from The Guardian that my cousin shared, I held on to these tightly. It's hard to explain why Home does not feel like home and why I felt so detached. I felt guilty for feeling this way and sometimes still do. These emotions that I couldn't place into words created anger. Anger at myself for making the "big move" as I named it. Anger for thinking this would be easy. Anger because the world did not pause. Anger because well, Berlin was not a skip away, nor was Italy or any other place that I'm dying to see and visit. Mixed with anger I was oozing with guilt. Guilt for not being able to explain to family and friends. Guilt for crying every time someone asked, "How are you?" Sidenote: I have NEVER cried so much in my life, especially in public. I am NOT a crier so cue the anger that came with this. 

This year I continue to feel guilty because of my students last year. They got the best version of me I could give last year, but it wasn't the best me. I see them daily and just wish we could relive the year together. I wish I could give more. I wonder if this is just the role of a teacher or it's true because of moving different countries, different cultures, different population. I will find out at the end of this school year. 

Moving forward, I am healing and I am finding my new normal. My summers are the opposite of when I lived in Berlin. Now I spend my school year saving for a summer trip to Europe. Summer 2017 I stayed in Berlin while traveling to Croatia and Portugal (two new countries). One day, I will write about this but not today, not tonight. 

I still bike to school from time to time. I just started training for a 10k run (2nd race, 1st one completed in Berlin). I still struggle to learn German. I still like eating fresh, local food. I still like craft beer. I still have a love for shopping. I still read. I am still me in many senses and yet I feel years and miles away from my former life. Finding the normal. The new. 

My grandma and I were talking about Berlin tonight. She asked me, "Are you homesick?" I am not sure if she realized it but she said homesick. Not missing it or longing- homesick. Berlin is not my first home and I don't wish it to be my first and only. But it is home. And I am something more than missing and longing for it. 

Thank you for letting me share again. 

Perugia Reunion

In my last days in Europe for 2016, I had the true pleasure to roam the streets of Perugia with my first loves of the city. The four of us ventured to our old stomping grounds to visit unforgotten friends, gathered around our favorite eats and took in the priceless views of the town that stole our hearts. The town was all abuzz with the sound of jazz music floating through the crooked streets. 

We were able to stay in Perugia through our alma mater, The Umbra Institute. Every year they put out a raffle or sorts that give away two apartments in the center. Thanks to our dear, Susanne did all the leg work and we won! We got to stay in a beautiful apartment on Via dei Priori near my past apartment. We got to enjoy this beautiful view. 

While around, we needed to check out Umbra's new digs. Since 2013 they have changed buildings and now have this killer view of Piazza 4 Novembre. They have expanded their space and courses. 

They currently have a ceramic class that allows students to create their own piece and fire it. I felt a strong sense of pride to see Umbra continue to grow. This is an institute that allowed myself and many more people to imagine a life other than working the grind 24/7. We learned how to enjoy each moment, every bite, and notice the small details of an outfit. 

No trip to Italy isn't complete without a few bumps in the road. I do not have the energy and I'm sure you don't have the energy to hear the whole story. Let's just say my luggage was missing for five whole days- thanks Air Berlin and Atalia. NOT. 

I am one very lucky lady to have an amazing friend who lends me clothes and make-up so I don't go without the small details in a fashion minded country. I'm sure I would have stuck out like a sore thumb if not for Jazmine. I could not thank her enough for making me feel like an Italian goddess. 

Overall, the trip was one I will not forget anytime soon. So thankful to relax with these beauties before transitioning back to the US.  Here are a few more photos from our trip. 

Until next time Perugia-

xx

XXV

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This is the start of something new. It is exciting. Overwhelming. Terrifying. Heartbreaking. Thrilling. Magical. The big move. In the past three weeks, my life went from a planned holiday in the States to permanently returning on July 21. 

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If you haven't heard... I decided that I am moving home after living in Berlin for two and half years. I have accepted a first-grade teaching position in a beloved elementary school in my hometown. I am very excited to join the district and start this next chapter of my career. 

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This was not an easy decision for myself and I continue to wrestle with it. Saying that I am confident that I did make the right decision for my career. I believe strongly that this is what God has planned for my life. It has been amazing how doors have opened so easily and everything is lined up one after another. I can't explain it but I'm oh so thankful that it has been a smooth process so far. 

15

As you can imagine, one thing that makes this move hard is my students and friends. The news did not go over well with students and parents, alike. It broke my heart. With one parent, we hugged and cried together for five minutes. After having the opportunity to talk with them, they have been amazingly supportive and know it is good for me to be with my family. Every day I receive cards saying "We will miss you!" It pulls at my heart string every time. Before all of this, I planned a learning family picnic on a Saturday. This was a very special event that we planned back in February. Everyone brought food and we spent the day soaking up the sun. 

Spent the day at the lake with my kiddos. 

Got food? My families know that food is so important! Ha! 

20

While all these changes are happening around me, I am planning and preparing for the move but to also enjoy every minute in Berlin. I have found a new love with Facebook events to search out new things to do. I have actually had to slow down just so I can rest a bit from time to time. As well as normal summer parties, the Eurocup is taking place. It has been a very nail-biting, exciting experience. Of course, I'm clearly rooting for Germany (can you believe that win over Italy!!?!?!), but I also have a friend from Portugal. I've been tagging along for those games and have fallen in love with the camaraderie between the fans. I will miss this city BIG time and can't wait for my return. 

After a long week, one can't think of going out... Eurocup, pizza, and wine. Best way to spend a night in. 

25

 XXV. That's right I have hit the big 2-5; half of 50; a quarter of a century. I'm 25. I'm not sure why but that number just sounds so adult. Like the number where your life should be together. And the funny thing is- sometimes I think it is. I figure things out. I make it work. I make the tough choices just don't ask me where I want to eat tonight. I mean, yeah, I cooked box macaroni and cheese tonight but who hasn't done that? OK, as I read over that I'm dying! I don't know what I'm doing with my life and that's alright. I don't need to. I will say 25 has been so good to me already- I'm going to love this year. 

For my birthday, my dear sweet friend organized to have dinner at my favorite Italian place. It was so amazing to have my very close friends there to celebrate and our favorite chief! Here are some photos from the night. 

Lastly, I want to say thank you. Thank you for those who are being patient with me as I make this transition. I know I will have reversed culture shock- I always do when I come home even for the summer. So thank you as you give me time and space. And thank you to those who have seen me stressed, excited, emotional, joyful and feeling overwhelmingly loved in the last weeks. You have been so kind and forgiving. 

All my love from the streets of Berlin. 

xoxox 

Life Lately

Spring seems to come in short spurts around Berlin. It goes from warm days of dresses, sandals, and ice cream cones to chilly fall-like days again. Since my apartment is level with the ground, I often feel decieved by the weather and temperature. My apartment is 10 degrees cooler than it is outside and lately it has been warmer and more humid outside than in. Each day I have to take out my trash, check the mail, or just simply walk outside and spin around to figure out what I should wear. I'm sure it is a bit amussing for my neighbors. 

Yesterday, part of my house church family invited me to tag along for a day at the beach. It was an amazing, relaxing, and much needed time away from the city. As many of you know, I love road trips. So they could said we are driving 5 hours with no purpose and I would have tagged along. Nonetheless, we traveled 3 hours north to an island town of Ückeritz. It was the perfect getaway- with a mostly empty beach all to ourselves. I found it to cool and breezy for a swim, as I was bundled in a sweatshirt, vest, and scarf; but the kids found the ocean begging them to enter and they obliged. Before making the trip back to Berlin, we stopped at the sweetest German restuarant complete with schnitzel and fresh white asparagus dishes. I am loving this seasonal menus! Right now, strawberries and white asparagus are the hit. I had the white asparagus soup- so delicious. 

 

Road trips like this remind me so very much of PA. Once you escape the city limits, Germany really does look like PA with the lush, green forest and hilly highways. I even saw a deer on our way home. I swear I always see a deer. I long to drive- it always happens this time of year. I want summer, I want to drive, I want to hang out with my friends, I want to eat Grandma's cooking, I want to roadtrip with my dad, and I want cuddle time with my sisters. It will all come soon. Less than 70 days until I go home for summer holidays. 

In the past weeks, I have taken advantage of the good weather by bike riding, eating outside, and escaping to Wannsee for a boat cruise. I have found a new favorite Italian place. I absolutely love love this sweet, sweet family owned restaurant. The father is the most joyous cook I have ever seen. He greets everyone and you feel so welcomed there. I truly feel like I found a piece of Italy in Berlin. He has a very simple menu with about six pasta dishes, a meat dish or two, and a few desserts. He also offers a top notch salad that you can order like you want. For myself, I can NOT say no to his truffel pasta dish or the sausage pasta dish. My mouth waters thinking about this. It has been my favorite place to go after work with my friend. She lives nearby and its not too awful far from my place.

As for school, we have had more days off than on in the month of May including our class trip. Our class trip this year took place at Kiez Hölzerner See. I didn't do too much research on our destination- I knew our plans, I knew our accomendation but I didn't search photos. So when we arrived I got thrown into a dejavu situation. About 6 years ago, I was there at Hölzerner See to work for Yo Yo Camps, my summer in Germany. It was so trippy to be there again even sleeping in the same hut. Crazy! We got so lucky to have warm, beautiful weather. 

Well, today is my rest day for working out. I am going to go foam roll- I hate that! I don't know if you have ever done it but it's SO painful. I sometimes cry. Then, I better head off to bed- back to work tomorrow. This last week was our last break until July 21. The long haul starts now. 

xoxoxo

Dear High School Facebook Friends

Dear High School Facebook Friends,

Most evenings after a long day of school, I plug in my earphones and open Spotify while I scroll through my Facebook newsfeed. Unlike most of you, my day is finishing while yours is just taking off. Growing up in a small town, most of the time we too often know what is going on in each others lives. (It can be a curse and a blessing at the same time.)

However, while living miles and time zones away, it's nice to be connected through social media. I know I'm still behind the gossip-example: I just recently found out someone I rode the bus with got married... TWO YEARS AGO! Ha! Other times, I miss baby number two and assume your third pregnancy is your second.

I know often times people say to me I love following your adventures. Well, guess what I love following YOURS! I absolutely love seeing each of us continue to learn how to be adults and survive in this world. I find joy in your daily successes- may it be eating clean, working out daily, a new job, or a new baby- it's awesome.

There are so many talented friends out there from singer to a hairstylist. I often think, "Oh I wish I could attend their show and support them. And she is amazing at her job! Can she do my hair?!?" By the way, I will probably be asking one of you for an appointment when I come home.

As much as I love seeing you succeed, I love seeing the photos and stories of your kids too. I love how many of you are still friends and now your kids are friends. It's so sweet. It's these simple things that are important and should be cherished. To all the moms out there, my hat is off to you! I can't imagine being at that stage of my life right now.

From time to time, I see a Facebook status asking for help or just company. I would love to be able to pick you up and drive you to work- even if it's a 15 minute catch-up time. Or sitting on the couch, sipping wine, and watching Netflix- count me in!

Which leads me to my next point, I guess I have been a bit nostalgic lately. I see your posts and wonder what it would be like if we were still as close as we once were.

It's funny how we have grown apart and so often I think I would love to do (insert event here) with them. May it be road tripping, running a 5k, wine tasting, or even just going shopping. I think we would still have a lot to talk about.

Thank you for letting me be part of your adventures.

Your HS Friend,
Katie

Two Years

Two Years... and two weeks later- I'm finally writing about my time in Berlin. I thought about March 10th as my two year anniversary- "Berliniversary," as we like to call it. Somehow I never formulated what I was going to write and now, I have totally dropped the ball on this one. Last year, I was so prepared with my lists.

Bottom line- I've been in Berlin two whole years. You would probably think I would say, "Two years, already?" But truthfully, it feels just like that two years. Two years of learning, creating, working, speaking, traveling, running, and eating. However, if you asked me, "How does it feel to be 24?" Then, I would say, "24, already?" I feel like I just left high school! Isn't it funny how time feels different- even from day to day?

As time continues on, I have also lost track of my blog. I apologize for that. So let's catch up.

Berliniversary

Work

Well, currently I'm on my two-week Easter break. So it's been nice lately. Joking! No, no work has been great. Our highlights include- spending the day at the Berlin Aquarium, graphing with Skittles, and of course, we can't forget that there were donuts before Easter break. Of course, I couldn't take part in that- I'm giving up sugar for 30 days. Anyway, over break I'll be doing a bit of work to prepare for the rest of the year. I've been taking my sweet, sweet time going into work. Tomorrow is Friday and  I need to take the leap.

School
As you can see, there is work and there is school. I have started taking online courses through PDE to gain my required 180 hours of professional development. I have 175 hours left. I think this may take longer than I would hope. The saddest part is I wish these hours could go towards my Masters degree. Oh, how I wish.

Faith & Church
I continue to grow in my faith. I continue to learn more about who God is and how He sees me. I've been tremendously blessed to have a strong group of believers walking with me at home and in Berlin. I can't imagine what I would do without Home Church in Berlin. I continue to learn so much from this group of individuals- what it means to serve each other, give grace, and even more about relationships. What an amazing gift they are to me!

Hockey & Exercise
I've been keeping up with working out and to even contemplated joining hockey again. I took the fall and winter off. I thought I could manage in the spring but after the first meeting, I had some serious doubts. I realized that twice a week from 8-10:15 is going to be far too much. It would have been a very easy decision if I didn't like spending time with the team. But I love the girls! They are funny and nowhere else do I get to hang out with 20 girls my age. At the end of the day, I know it would be better for me to stick with my 30 minutes to an hour workout.

Travels
I've been so excited to announce that I'm traveling again to Perugia, Italy. My study abroad friends and I won an apartment to stay in during the week of Umbria Jazz Festival. As you can imagine, we are thrilled to reunite. I'm sure each of us have a countdown- I know I do! This trip has been a great motivation to keep working out, too. After this trip to Italy, I will mostly be traveling to the United States.

Dating & Romance
Of course, as you can see, dating always seems to come last in my book. With that being said, I have dated since being in Berlin. It just hasn't been anything serious. Honestly, we just haven't clicked. Most mid-twenty-year-olds are finishing their schooling here and I already have a full-time job. It's just two different phases of life.


Next year, I want...

• to take more photos of what I'm doing.
• to spend more nights doing what I want rather than work. 
• to run 10 miles.
• to possibly move to a larger apartment.
• to continue to actively blog- to be better at this. 
• to visit more places in Berlin. 

All my love

xoxo

Roman Holiday

“Rome- again? Don’t you want to visit a new country? See a new place?” I can imagine all of you asking these questions.  Keep in mind when it’s your turn to pick the restaurant, you usually pick your favorite. I just pick my favorite. And my favorite place to eat is Rome.

This time I traveled with someone who has never been to Rome. So of course, we saw all the traditional touristy spots. Colosseum, check. Fontana di Trevi, check. Roman Forum, check. Spanish Steps, check. Piazza del Popolo, check. The Vatican, check. Center of Rome, check. You get the point. We walked from our hotel near the Trevi to every location. Over three days, we walked over 21 miles.

Now that seems like a lot of calorie burning, but I made up for it with my intake of true Roman food. I actually feel like I could have done more eating on this trip but overall, I did OK. The one thing I was of done better was pizza. Here are some photos of the meals we had on our trip.

Now while in Rome, I always try to do something new or try to go somewhere new. This time my friend met a family earlier in the year. The family lives in Rome and like all Romans have some Vespas. So for the first time I got to see Rome from the back of a scooter. This was the coolest experience by far. I wish I could of shared the view. It was at night. The first time wasn’t so bad because it was late after dinner and the traffic was not heavy. The second time when the family came to pick me and my friend up- it was a bit more nervous. The traffic was – well, what you expect in Rome. Bumper to bumper, cars coming here and there.

While we weren’t viewing the sites, we enjoyed shopping, wandering in and out of the side streets, and enjoying siestas. All in all it was a great trip. Now it’s back to reality. I have to work on my online class, plan for the week, fold laundry, and get back to my workout schedule. There are only 167 days until my summer break.

Until next time, all my love. 

xx